Next: Bi Addition
by inuyasha 303
Summary: Crack Naruto yaoi fic. SasuNaru, mentions of GaaraNeji. M for safety. AU


Description: Crack Naruto yaoi fic. SasuNaru, mentions of GaaraNeji. M for safety. AU

AN: Well this is a really old crack fic that I wrote for a show I like: Next. I wrote this back in 7th grade so bare with me. It's really dorky, and I tried to fallow the way the show goes so the characters might be just a little OC.

Warning: Yaoi, swearing, OC-ness, and me being a total weirdo. Enjoy!

"Hi, I'm Sasuke Uchiha and I'd rather be anywhere but here. Don't get on my nerves or I'm calling next."

~The Daters~

Gaara- "Don't get in my way or your dead."

Sakura- "This game is in the bag! No guy is going to pass this up!"

Neji- "It is my destiny to win."

Ino- "Once this guy sees my ass, he's mine!"

Naruto- "I'm going to win! Believe it!"

~On the bus~

S: I can't wait to meet this guy!

Na: It's a guy?

Ne: Duh.

I: I hope he's hot!

S: Doesn't matter for you. This game isn't going past me.

I: Oh yeah like anyone is going to like a billboard-brow!

Na: Hey now. That's not nice.

Ne: Stay out of that, trust me.

Na: ???

S: What did you say Pig!?!?

G: Well guess I'm up first… (Leaves the bus)

All: Yey!!! Go get 'em!!! (General cheering)

Gaara- "I just wanted to get off the bus…"

Lives in the desert.

Very Anti-social.

Likes to kill people.

Sasuke looks over as the red head walks up. "Hi. I'm Sasuke." He says holding out his hand.

Gaara ignores it and nods instead. "Gaara."

Sasuke shrugs. "Alright. So do you like to fight?"

"I usually prefer to just kill them first…the blood is just so satisfying."

"…Next!"

"Whatever."

$1.00

Gaara got the boot. Sakura's up next.

I: OMG. What happened?

G: (Shrug)

S: Well have fun. I'm not coming back. (Leaves)

I: She won't last five minutes.

Na: That's not true! Sure she will!

G: 10 bucks she won't even get to say her name.

Na: You're on!

"This guy is mine!"

Has a split personality.

Once punched a teacher for being stupid.

Hair is "naturally" pink.

"Oh my god! He's so hot!" Sakura says to herself as she runs up. "Hey~!"

Sasuke looks over and turns pale. "Oh hell no! Next! Next, next, next, next, NEXT!!!"

She freezes. "W-Wha-!?!?!? Well-Fine! Stupid!" She flips him off and storms back to the bus.

"I hate pink so much."

$1.00

Pink isn't Sasuke's thing. Will Neji's colors be better?

S: (In tears) I didn't even get to say my name!!!!

G: (Stops making out with Neji) told you. That will be 10 dollars.

S: You're so mean!!! (Tries to punch him and misses)

I: T-Two guys…K-K-Kissing…I'm going to be sick…In other news: Told you so Billboard-brow!

S: Shut up!!! (Lunges)

I: AHHHH!!!

Na: Stop!!! (Grabs) Help me!!!

Ne: Not from me. I've go to go. (Leaves)

Na: Gaara help me!!!

G: …I'll help but I expect a kiss in return.

Na: …never mind!

"I hope this guy is as hot as Gaara, or I might just have to Next myself."

A black belt in three marshal arts.

Reads his horoscope everyday.

Spends hours doing his hair.

"Hi. I'm Sasuke."

"I'm Neji. Pleased to meet you. My horoscope said I'd meet someone special today."

"Cool." Sasuke says with a smirk. "Now. I like to get physical, and I need someone who will give me a challenge. So how about a fight?"

"Sounds good." Neji agrees, thankful that the guy is totally hot.

"Great. Then let's get started."

S: (Tied up on the couch) I'll bet this guy isn't bi, he's just gay!

I: Is he hot?

S&G: Hell yeah!

Na: No!!!! Leave me alone!!!

G: Well until Neji gets back I need someone to molest.

Na: Neji!!! Hurry!!!

The two boys are fighting each other. Neither are landing any good blows, but they seem to be having fun. Neji gets the upper hand and trips Sasuke. "It was my destiny to win." He says.

Sasuke cocks an eyebrow. "I enjoy an occasional fortune telling, but I need someone who can throw caution to the wind, and not look to the stars. Next."

"Fine. There are hotter guys on the bus then you anyway."

$18.00

The stars weren't in it for Neji. Will Ino have better luck?

G: Your back.

Ne: That guy has not taste. Ino you're up next.

I: You won't be seeing this ass again. (Runs off)

S: She'll be Next'ed instantly!

Na: 10 dollars she won't!

S: You're on.

G: Hey don't forget you owe me money. (Starts making out with Neji)

"No guy can Next my fine ass."

Have had 12 boyfriends in the last week.

Very possessive.

Is obsessed with her ass.

Ino walks up with a wink. "Hi. I'm Ino."

"Hello Ino." He greets politely. "I'm Sasuke. Well since I already finished with the first part, why don't we go to the restaurant."

"Sounds wonderful." The two of them got in the car.

Na: Hey! We're moving! I win!

S: Fine. Here. (No longer tied up, hands him the money)

Na: Thank you. Here Gaara.

G: Naruto…do you even have any money on you? (Takes)

Na: Nope.

G: That explains it.

S: Stupid.

"So what do you like to do?" Sasuke asks leaning back on his side of the couch.

"Oh I like to do a lot of stuff. But basically what ever my boyfriend wants." She winks again, moving closer.

"Ok. Where do you work?"

"At a tattoo parlor."

Do you have a tattoo then?" He asks curiously.

She smiles. "I sure do. It's on my ass. Wanna see?"

Sasuke looks at her. "…do you offer to take your pants off for every guy you've known for about 5 minutes?"

"Yep!"

"Next! Stop the car."

Ino scoffs then snaps her fingers. "Well fine. You can't handle my experience anyway." She leaves.

$7.00

Ino was too revealing for Sasuke's taste. Let's see if Naruto will fair better.

I: I can't believe he Next'ed me!

Na: Why? What happened?

I: I offered to show him my ass, and he turned me down!

S: At least he's smart enough to do that.

I: DIE!!!! (Lunges)

Na: Ahhh! Wait!

Ne: Naruto. You've got to go. Leave this to us.

Na: Well…alright… (Leaves)

G: We're going to stop them?

Ne: No. (Continues making out)

"This has been such a weird day…"

Can eat 10 bowls of ramen in under 6 minutes.

Loves pulling pranks.

Hasn't figured out he's gay.

Naruto opens the car door and climbs in. Sasuke looks at him in total shock. Naruto smiles, and holds out his hand. "Hey there. I'm Naruto Uzumaki!"

"I'm Sasuke." The raven says with a smirk, then adds "Uchiha." Hey shake hands, staying in contact for much longer than normal. "So Naruto…tell me about yourself."

"…hm…my favorite color is orange!"

"I can see that."

"I like ramen, and my favorite animal is a fox."

"You're a fox."

Naruto looks confused. "What?"

"Nothing." The other replies innocently. "Lets see. My favorite color is blue, and can't say I've ever had ramen, and…I think I like foxes too." He gave the smaller boy a sexy smile.

Naruto gasped. "You've never had ramen!? Oh you've got to try it!"

"There's something else I want to try as well." Sasuke said leaning in close.

Naruto shook his head, clearly not getting it. "No! You've got to try ramen! It's the best food in the whole world!"

Sasuke sighs as the car rolls to a stop. "Dobe…" He mutters.

Naruto nearly jumps up clenching his fists. "Don't call me a Dobe!"

Sasuke smirks again. "Come on. We're here."

S: Do you think Naruto will win?

I: He's too peppy.

Ne: Yeah. Sasuke's all dark and emo. He probably cuts and everything.

G: I cut.

Ne: Oh no, I didn't say that was a bad thing! Just that Naruto's too nice for him.

G: True…

S: I don't know he's been gone for a while…

I: Just you wait.

Inside the restaurant, the two boys are sitting down. Naruto has, of course, ordered ramen, and Sasuke has ordered steak. Naruto inhales about half of his bowl, then picks up some of the noodles with his chopsticks and holds then out to the raven. "Here Sasuke. Try some."

Sasuke takes that offer instantly, wrapping his lips around the boy's chopsticks and slowly sucking off the noodles. Naruto blushes a very pretty red. "That is good. Why don't you try some of mine?" The blond nods ok, and reaches for his fork but Sasuke has different plans and picks up a piece with his fingers. "Here. Open."

Naruto blushes even harder and opens his mouth to let the older boy feed him. When the raven places the meat on his tongue Naruto catches his fingers and sucks off any remains before he could pull away. Sasuke groans softly. "Mmmm…this is good…" Naruto purred softly, then flushed and pulled away. "Hehee…t-they make great food here don't they!" he looks away nervously.

I: OH MY GOD!!!! AHHHH!!!

G: Shut up!

I: You can't have SEX on the bus!!!

Ne: I don't mind. Please don't stop.

G: I don't plan too.

I: Ahhhh!!!!! Saskura!!!! Wake up!!!!

S: (passed out on the couch when the guys first started undressing)

I: Ahhhh!!! My eyes!!!

Ne: Ahhhh!!!

G: Damn you tight!

I: HOLY-!!! (Passes out)

Camraman1: We can't show this on TV!

Camraman2: Wanna bet!

Naruto finishes his 12 bowl or ramen ad sighs. "That was great!"

Sasuke smiles. "I'm glad you liked it. Now, Naruto. We've been on this date for 62 minutes, that's $62 dollars. You can either take the money, or go on a second date with me."

Naruto perks up and opens his mouth, then hold up a finger. "Oh wait. I'm supposed to give them time to insert a flashback."

***Flashback***

"I didn't even get to say my name!"

"You've never had ramen!?"

"That is good. Why don't you try some of mine?"

***End Flashback***

Naruto nods. "That should be good." He smiles at Sasuke. "I had a lot of fun, and I like you a whole lot so, I'm going to take the second date!"

Sasuke grins, pleased with that decision. "Great! Ready for dessert?"

"Yeah!" Naruto cheers cutely. Sasuke then grabs his chin and pulls him into a deep kiss.

All: Hey Sasuke! **** you! (They all turn around and moon the camera)

Heeheehee…well like I said this is old. I tried to fix it up a bit with out getting rid of the childish charm that's (not) there ;P . Little side note. Sasuke's and Naruto's second date never left the bed room. Hope you liked! Comment!

Naruto © Not me.

Next © Not me.


End file.
